A Very Hyggeligt Thanksgiving

My host family and I have been planning the Thanksgiving celebration since September, when my host parents invited two other families to join us for a traditional American holiday.  I spent the last week tracking down sweet potatoes and fresh cranberries (for which I paid 50 kroner – about $9!), and my host dad ordered an 18 pound turkey from a butcher in Copenhagen.

Because of work and school, we decided to celebrate on Friday instead of Thursday.  I began preparing the food on Thursday afternoon.  Though I have been a kitchen assistant for the last few Thanksgiving meals, I have never before been head chef.  I was thrilled to have the opportunity to share the American holiday with my host family and friends, but I was nervous about how the meal would turn out.  On Thursday I made the cranberry sauce (which, to my great surprise, set perfectly) the sweet potato pie, and two apple pies.  Crisco shortening is not available in Danish supermarkets, so I had to use Palmin, a German ingredient made of coconut fat, instead.  So far, everything was coming along nicely.

Then, in preparation for Friday morning, I decided to inspect the turkey.  I searched the skin for feathers and found none.  Then I unhooked the legs from their binding so that I could see inside the bird’s cavity.  I was hoping to find a bag of giblets, which I would need to make the broth for the stuffing, but there was no bag to be found.  Instead there was only a little lima bean.  That’s strange, I thought.  Then it hit me.  OH NO!  I took a closer look and realized that, in addition to the kidney, the heart, lungs, and liver were still inside the bird.  With no other option, I got a plastic bag, took a deep breath, stuck my arm into the bird’s cavity, and ripped out its organs.  It was the most disgusting thing that I’ve ever done in my entire life.

I woke up on Friday morning to a beautiful winter wonderland.  In the morning I made the stuffing, cleaned and stuffed the turkey, and put the bird in the oven.  In the afternoon I picked up my friend, Ashley, at the train station and gave her a brief tour of Køge on our way back to the house.  We had some time to relax before we had to return to work in the kitchen.  At 5pm, two hours before I’d anticipated, the turkey thermometer beeped.  I tried sticking the thermometer in different locations on the bird, but the turkey was definitely ready.  One frantic phone call to Mom and Dad later, I took the turkey out of the oven to cool, planning to reheat it before dinner.

At 7pm the guests started to arrive, and dinner began just before 8pm.  Once the food had been served I made a toast, briefly explaining the history of Thanksgiving and why it is still an important holiday today.  I said that, like every year before, I am thankful for my family, but that this year I am fortunate to include four new people in my family: my host parents and host sisters.  After the toast we spent hours and hours enjoying food and conversation.  (The turkey, by the way, was excellent!)  Ashley and I were the only Americans among 12 Danes, but it was an exciting opportunity to teach my host family and our guests about American tradition.  Though I’ll admit that I was feeling very homesick on Thanksgiving, I had such a wonderful time celebrating a very hyggeligt Thanksgiving here in Denmark.

Hygge is a fundamental Danish social value, and it is my favorite aspect of Danish culture.  Translated to English, hygge means ‘coziness’, but in reality it is more complex than that.  Like a Buddhist hoping to achieve Enlightenment, Danes strive for hygge in social interactions and daily life.  This coziness is open to personal interpretation and can be achieved either alone or in a group.  For me, it is hyggeligt to snuggle up with a great book by the fireplace or to have an intimate dinner party with close friends.  In an effort to facilitate hygge, Danish dinner parties nearly always include fancy place settings and candles, yet the interactions and conversations remain informal.  Not unlike the concept of feng shui, Danes even design their homes in a way that promotes hygge.  Candles are everywhere, and family rooms are cozy.  Hearing about hygge is one thing, but living in Denmark and experiencing hygge with Danes is quite another.  When described, hygge sounds very much like coziness.  However, coziness is not substantial enough a word to fully encompass all that is hygge.  When you are relaxing and feeling completely content, either alone or with loved ones, and a blissful warmth comes over you… that is hygge.

 P.S. It continued to snow through Saturday morning and we now have 45 centimeters (about 1 ½ feet) of snow!  My host family and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie at the movie theater in Køge last night, and my host sisters initiated a snow ball fight during the walk home.    

It is Christmas time in Copenhagen!  Without the end of the Thanksgiving meal to mark the beginning of the Christmas season, Christmas has come to Denmark in mid-November.  The streets are decorated with garland and lights, and shop owners are adding snowflakes and wreaths to their window displays.  Two weeks ago the Danes celebrated J-Day, the day that Tuborg released its famous Julebryg, a Christmas beer that is only available during the holiday season.  Then two days ago we had our first snowfall of the year.  As the song goes, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… 

The only thing standing in my way of enjoying the wonderful holiday season is the massive amount of schoolwork that is due during the last four weeks of the semester.  In the upcoming weeks I must complete two group presentations, three papers, two final exams, and a portfolio project.

For one of my papers, one of the topics that I will be discussing is the Danish concept called Jantelov.  In my opinion, Jantelov is the most striking difference between Danish and American cultural values.  Despite its name, Jantelov is not a law; it is a set of beliefs regarding Danish self-perception that carries over into nearly all other aspects of culture and daily life.  Written by the author Aksel Sandemose in his 1933 novel En Flygtning Krysdser Sit Spor (A Fugitive Crosses His Track), the Jantelov reads like the Ten Commandments.  Among the ten notions of Danish self-perception asserted in the Jantelov are “you shall not believe that you [individually] are worth as much as we [collectively] are”, “you shall not believe that you will be good at anything”, and “you shall not believe that you can teach us anything”.  Jantelov reinforces the Danish principle of equality by failing to recognize people’s differences and achievements, and it has a number of implications for social interaction and daily activities.  For example, at a social gathering Danes will not introduce people to one another.  Doing so would illuminate a social inequality - that the introducer knows people who the would be introducee does not.  Instead, guests who are brought to a social gathering are left to fend for themselves.  Earlier in the semester I attended a dinner at my host sister’s school and, upon arrival, was introduced to no one.  I had to remind myself that this was not rude, and that, in fact, it was quite the opposite.  Eventually I introduced myself to people and people introduced themselves to me, but we were never introduced my mutual acquaintances. 

Jantelov is also present in schools.  At my high school in the US, students had opportunities based on their academic needs and abilities.  Students enrolled in varying levels of courses based on the pace at which they could learn the material.  This system, in theory, ensures that no one falls behind and that everyone is academically challenged.  In Denmark, students are not given special opportunities if they need extra help or more challenging work.  Everyone learns together in one classroom.  In Danish society, it is more important that everyone learn and work together than individual students’ needs be met.  Furthermore, it is not uncommon for students not to know what career path to choose upon graduation – they have never been told what they are good at.  I try to remain open-minded about all aspects of Danish culture, but this is particularly difficult for me to wrap my head around.  My younger host sister is not academically challenged in school, and I wish that she could have the same opportunities in school that I had when I was her age.  Also Jantelov can have negative ramifications for Denmark; many talented Danes (actors, athletes, etc.) have left Denmark for other countries, particularly the US, where their skills would be celebrated rather than squashed.

One final tidbit of information: last week Denmark passed a new law that strengthens the existing anti-immigration laws.  The law includes a point system, based on education, work experience and language ability, for immigrants hoping to enter Denmark.  Those under age 24 need twice as many points as their older counterparts if they wish to enter the country.  The point system applies even to foreigners who are married to Danes.  While the law is likely an effort to slow immigration from Eastern European countries, I too, as an educated American, would not be able to move to Denmark under the new law.  Before the age of 24 I will not have sufficient education and work experience.  The law is strongly supported by the Dansk Folkeparti (Danish Peoples Party), a party that does not support multiculturalism in Denmark.  Though the party has little political influence, it is gaining support.  To be honest, the party’s beliefs and attempts to gain political power are a bit scary; I have even heard them be compared to the Nazis.  But there is one bit of good news for my mom: I now have no choice but to honor my promise not to marry a Dane and never come home.  In fact, I’ll be home in less than four weeks!   

Saturday night I returned home to Denmark after an incredible two week vacation in southern Europe.  Here is a recap of my travels:

Day  1 – Sunday 10/31

On Sunday morning I flew to Lisbon with a group from DIS.  We were picked up by our surfing instructors and brought to the surf camp in Ericeira.  LaPoint Surf Camp has an oceanfront view and is only about a 15 minute walk from the center of town.  A storm had just finished passing through the area, so the weather was still a bit windy and rainy on our first day in Portugal.  The storm had caused 7 ½ meter swells, and watching the waves crash on the shore made me nervous about our upcoming surfing lessons.   

On Sunday afternoon we ventured into the town.  Ericeira is a small coastal town about 50 km from Lisbon.  The town’s economy relies on fishing and on surfers and tourists.  Ericeira’s beaches have played host to the ASP World Surfing Championships, and each year surfers flock to Ericeira.  The town is comprised of beautiful buildings and winding streets, and there are lots of tile and mosaics, both on the facades of buildings and on the streets.  We spent the afternoon meandering the streets, shopping, and tasting Portuguese pastries.  

Day 2 – Monday 11/1

The weather had improved significantly by Monday, and we spent the morning wandering along the coast in search of a beach where we could relax.  Along the way we were joined by a dog, and he spent the rest of the morning running alongside us.  In the afternoon we had our first surfing lesson.  The waves were still a bit strong so we only practiced paddling and balancing on the board.  Our instructors showed us where we should lie on the board and we had a relay race to practice paddling.  It was exhausting!  Once we had conquered paddling we learned how to sit on the board when waiting for a wave.  “It’s simple”, said my surf instructor, “just balance the board between your knees and your sex”.  Um… ok.  Back on the sand, we practiced jumping up onto the board and positioning our feet and body for balance.

me relaxing at the beach with my new friend

Day 3 – Tuesday 11/2

On Tuesday we had an early morning Yoga class to loosen up our sore muscles.  After Yoga we took a short trip to Sintra, a town about midway between Ericeira and Lisbon.  Sintra is a small but beautiful town situated at the bottom of a large hill.  After briefly exploring the town, we climbed to the top of the hill to see the Castelo dos Mouros and Pena Palace.  At the top of the hill we found a breath taking view of the town below and the Atlantic Ocean.

beginning the trek up the hill in Sintra

view from the top

In the afternoon we had our second surfing lesson.  We took turns paddling out to the waiting instructors and then attempting to ride in on a wave.  We were at a section of beach that was good for beginners; the water was not deep and the waves were mild.  Unfortunately, this meant that every time I fell off the board I hit the rocky, sandy bottom.  After 4 attempts I managed to stay up on the board and ride my first wave.  That night, after a long day of touring Sintra and surfing we kicked back on the patio for an impromptu sing along featuring songs by the Beatles and Third Eye Blind.

Day 4 – Wednesday 11/3

On Wednesday I skipped the surf lesson so that I could have some peace and quiet at the lodge and soak up the sun in the back yard.  At night we went out to dinner in town and then to a local bar.

Day 5 – Thursday 11/4

On Thursday morning we got to the beach at 7am for our final surfing lesson.  As we surfed the sun rose over the town.  It was incredibly peaceful.

That afternoon we left Ericeira for Lisbon.  We spent the rest of the day sightseeing and shopping in the city.  Once the sun set we had a wonderful dinner at a tapas restaurant.  After dinner we went to the opening night of an Urban Culture exhibit and spent the rest of the night bar hopping in the Barrio Alto neighborhood.

Day 6 – Friday 11/5

I spent nearly the entire day on Friday traveling from Lisbon to Rome.

Day 7 – Saturday 11/6 

On Saturday I went sightseeing in Rome with my friends Sam and Kelsey.  We spent the morning at the Colosseum, where we met up with some of our friends who are also studying in Copenhagen.  After visiting the Colosseum we spent a few hours at the Vatican, where we saw St. Peter’s Basilica and the Sistine Chapel.  Our final sightseeing stops for the day were the Spanish Steps at Piazza Spagna and the Ara Pacis Museum.

me at the Colosseum

After a long day of sightseeing we met up with some friends for a delicious pasta dinner.  The waiters at one restaurant started pushing tables together for us as soon as they saw us walking down the street, so we went ahead and sat down.  The food and wine were wonderful and it was nice to relax after a long day.  After dinner we danced at a club before retiring to bed to rest up for another long day of sightseeing. 

Day 8 – Sunday 11/7

On Sunday we visited the Palatine Hill and the Roman Forum, Domus Aurea, the Trajan Column, Piazza Venezia, the Pantheon, and Piazza Navona.  By late afternoon our feet were aching, so we bought gelato and relaxed at the Trevi Fountain. 

Day 9 – Monday 11/8

On Monday we took a train from Rome to Florence.  The train was delayed for over two hours, and while we were waiting at a cafe my friend lost a bag with her passport, camera, and jewelry.  Needless to say the train ride was a bit melancholy.  Because our train had been delayed it was already dark in Florence when we arrived, so we decided to just relax with a bottle of wine and a nice dinner followed by gelato.

(Don’t worry, my friend was able to get a new passport at the US Embassy in Florence.)

Day 10 – Tuesday 11/9

On Tuesday morning we met up with a friend of a friend who had offered to show us around Florence.  He picked us up in a black Mercedes and drove us all over the city, showing us the sights and telling us about the history of the city.  We drove to Piazza Michelangelo, where we had a spectacular view of the city.  In the afternoon we left the city to experience the Tuscan countryside.  We drove through Tuscany for about an hour before arriving at Castelo di Verrazzano, where we toured the winery before enjoying a fabulous lunch and wine tasting.  After the wine tour we spent some time shopping in Florence, particularly at San Lorenzo Market.  Finally we grabbed a small dinner (we were still pretty full from lunch) before going out to a bar.

the view from Piazza Michelangelo

me at Castello di Verrazzano

Day 11 – Wednesday 11/10

On Wednesday morning I separated from my travel buddies to fly to Spain to visit Jocelyn.  After landing in Madrid I had to navigate three metro lines and one train before arriving in Alcalá de Henares.  When I got off the train in Alcalá Joce was there to meet me.  We ran to each other and started crying as if we were the stars of a romantic movie.  After so much time away from home, it was such a relief to be reunited with my best friend.

We went to a restaurant for dinner and had a long talk about our experiences so far.  We talked about cultural differences that are surprising or funny, things that we like and don’t like about Europe, and European’s perceptions of the United States.  It’s comforting to know that even though we are spending the semester studying in different countries we are sharing similar experiences and that we will have each other to lean on this winter when we readjust to life in the US. 

Day 12 – Thursday 11/11

I spent Thursday morning touring Alcalá while Joce was in class.  I did some shopping on Calle Mayor and visited Casa de Cervantes, a museum celebrating Miguel de Cervantes, who was the author of Don Quixote and who was born in Alcalá.

I spent the rest of the day with Joce at her host family’s apartment.  Her host family had kindly invited me to their home for lunch (at 3pm!) and they served traditional Spanish paella.  The meal was delicious and included a variety of shellfish.  When I came across a whole crab in my bowl, I asked Joce’s host dad how to eat it.  He told me to pull off all of the legs and then to crack off the upper shell with my teeth.  When I began to try to remove the crab meat from the under shell with my fork he shouted at me to stop and said that I must eat the shell.  So I took a deep breath and I popped the whole thing in my mouth.  It was really crunchy but surprisingly still tasty.  Joce’s host parents don’t speak one word of English (and they speak Spanish very quickly!) but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was able to understand them and that, though my responses were not incredibly well constructed, I was able to express myself and they could understand me.  I studied Spanish all through middle school and high school and during my first year of college, and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to speak Spanish with native speakers.

After lunch we took a siesta.  In Spain a siesta is a time to relax; people take a break after lunch to read, watch TV, or do something that they enjoy for a few hours.  Joce and I used this time to chat, take a long nap, and then chat some more.  In the evening, her host mom brought us tea and pastries to snack on while we waited for dinner.

Dinner was served at 9pm.  I had a traditional Spanish tortilla, which was similar to an omelet with potatoes and onions cooked inside.  After dinner Joce’s host mom showed me jewelry and purses that she has made.  Again my Spanish speaking skills surprised me as I was able to discuss with her how she makes them and the materials that she uses.  Later that night Joce and I met up with some of her friends for a night out on the town.

Day 13 – Friday 11/12

On Friday afternoon Jocelyn and I went to Madrid.  Joce was my tour guide for the day, and I got to see Plaza de Colón, Palacio Real, and Parque del Retiro.  After some sightseeing we met up with one of Joce’s friends for a nice, leisurely dinner.  We got to the restaurant at 8:30pm, but it didn’t start filling up until close to 10pm, when we were getting ready to leave.  In addition to the bottle of wine that we bought with dinner we were given a shot of limoncello when our waiter brought us our check.  The waiters were chuckling, and as we sat at the table and finished the bottle of wine they continued to pour us shots of limoncello.  Eventually we left the restaurant and took a train back to Alcalá.   

Joce and me at Parque del Retiro

 Day 14 – Saturday 11/13

On Saturday I flew back to Copenhagen, but things did not go according to plan.  I never woke up to my alarm and instead woke up at 8am, 1 hour and 15 minutes after I had planned to leave the hostel.  Luckily I had packed the night before so I frantically got dressed and was out the door at 8:07am.  Not wanting to pay for a taxi all the way to the airport, I figured that I would make it to the airport just in time if I took the train and metro.  I was wrong.  I arrived at the airport at 10:40am for a 10:50am flight and the woman at the counter told me that I was too late and that I would have to exchange my ticket for another flight.  At the ticket counter I was told that for 185 Euro I could get on the next flight to Copenhagen… at noon the next day.  I took a deep breath, told myself I was not going to cry, and kindly told the woman that that simply would not do.  I was able to get a ticket to Barcelona and from Barcelona to Copenhagen for later that day – for 240 Euro.  Oh and did I mention that earlier on the train I stupidly threw out my ticket and then had to take a 9 Euro fine for not having a ticket because you need it to go through the turnstile at the arrival platform?  This was quickly becoming a very expensive day. 

I had a lot of time to kill in the airport, and I spent most of it sleeping on a bench with my head on my carry-on luggage.  When 3pm rolled around and it was time to start boarding we were told that our flight had been delayed; it had been very cloudy in Madrid that morning and most of the earlier flights had been delayed or cancelled, so it was no surprise.  However, by the time we took off the flight had been delayed almost 3 hours.  We landed in Barcelona at 7:13, 2 minutes before my connection to Copenhagen was supposed to take off.  I ran through the Barcelona Airport like a mad woman, desperately trying to catch my flight.  It turns out that the flight to Copenhagen had been slightly delayed also, and I made it just in time.  As it turns out, the pilot for the flight from Barcelona to Copenhagen had been on my flight from Madrid to Barcelona.  It was about time I had a little bit of luck!

When I landed in Copenhagen my luggage was nowhere to be found.  This did not come as a surprise to me, since I myself had barely made it onto the flight.  Thankfully there was already a message waiting for me at arrival services: my luggage was still in Barcelona and would be on the next flight to Copenhagen the following day.  After everything I’d been through that day, I hardly cared.  It wasn’t until I landed in Copenhagen that I realized how much I consider Denmark to by my home, and I was just glad that I had made it back there safetly.  And no worries, my luggage was delivered to our house in Køge the next day.

To sum it all up…

I learned a lot during my two weeks of traveling, and I was intrigued by a whole new set of cultural differences.  One big difference was the interaction between males and females.  In Denmark I look almost as though I belong, but in Portugal, Italy, and Spain it is clear that I am a foreigner and men would stare and cat call on the streets.  Men in Denmark are much more reserved and would never do this.  At times I felt like a piece of meat.  Also, in Denmark women initiate contact but in southern Europe men were more proactive.  I also discovered – no surprise here – that people are much more friendly and receptive if you make an effort to speak their language.  Before the trip I looked up some basic phrases in Portuguese and Italian, and in Spain I only spoke Spanish when speaking to Spaniards.  

 I also learned a lot about myself.  I feel as though I have grown up a lot during my time in Europe, but the past two weeks really made me feel as though I have reached a new level of maturity.  Not only was I able to organize the trip, I was able to solve problems as they arose without losing my cool (and some of the worst problems I solved while speaking Spanish!).  I discovered that I am tougher than I realized and that I truly can take care of myself.